Thursday, January 10, 2008

Warning: The end of this post has graphic and disturbing images

Most recent update: I get a ton of traffic on my site due to these pictures. If you stumbled across them the way I did...looking for pictures of what your precious baby looks like at a certain week while still inside of you, I'm SO sorry you have to see these. They broke my heart.

Update: I started this several weeks ago and never finished it. I'm posting it unfinished because so many of you are nice enough to check in to see if I'm still alive. Still alive and busy. Lindley is good as new! Thank you all so much for checking in on us to see how things are going! Hugs!

The unfinished post was:

What keeps happening to me? I have 50 things I wanted to update you on, and I'm not writing about any of them. I'm just now five months into my pregnancy, and I'm nesting like crazy. Nesting isn't supposed to hit until the end! Of course, I've never gotten to nest at the end of my pregnancy, so maybe that's why I'm frantically doing it now. I was on bed rest at the beginning of my third trimester with the twins, and then I delivered them 6 weeks early. I carried my son to the c-section due date, but we were moving across Texas a week after we got home from the hospital, so I was packing instead of getting settled in and ready for the newborn.

Now that I'm finally to a computer, I don't remember what I was going to say. I'm sleep deprived thanks to my children seeing monsters throughout the night last night, and I've spent the day dashing around town doing errands and realizing just how irritable and hormonal I am.

I started off the day with a trip to the chiropractor. I would reference his frog wisdom here except months back I deleted my entire freaking blog. Oh, that's another thing. This post may be peppered with language. The kind that is unbecoming to a lady, but I don't care because this is how I get when I'm hormonal and agitated, so I say "f*ck it." Okay, so I couldn't bring myself to actually type out the entire f-bomb, but you get my drift...whatever that means. Do people ever really refer to their "drift" in any other conversation?

But back to Dr. Chiropractor. God love him, he has no facial expressions except that of extreme boredom, and he speaks in monotone with a heavy West Texas drawl--the only accent I can even come close to understanding. I haven't seen him since way before my pregnancy, so I warned him I would need the table adjusted to accommodate my now bulbous belly. He said, "Well. You're not real pregnant are ya?" If only I would have answered, "You are correct, sir. I'm not real pregnant; however, I am no longer fake pregnant either. The fifth month is commonly known as the "could still be pulling your leg" phase."

What the heck? I thought I had a ton more written. I know I had a lot going on in my head. It was going to be a long post about all the stupid things people said to me that day. Oh well. I'm still so far behind in life that I'm just now packing away Christmas decorations. I had moved them all to the dining room to be dealt with when life was less chaotic. I don't know why I thought today was that day.

I am now 18 1/2 weeks along. The little one should look something like this:

And can I just tell you how much I HATE, HATE, HATE googling images of babies in various weeks just to have to weed through pictures of the dead ones that were aborted???? I'm not blaming the websites or the people taking the photos. I think it's pretty clear who I blame. And I think it's pretty rare that circumstances occur that would make abortion seem like the only safe or rational option. I think these babies are usually the result of a stupid woman. If you disagree with me, get lost. Seriously.

This is what I had to see when I googled images of babies at 19 weeks:

This is bullshit. You won't be missed if you can justify this. This is at ten weeks.

This is 24 weeks.

Here's 7 months.

The only difference between a first trimester abortion vs. a second or third trimester is a matter of weeks. It's the same baby. I won't entertain debates here from people justifying abortion, so don't waste your breath. Just leave. The rest of you have a great day!

After thought: Because I can already hear it those of you who say, "I wouldn't ever do it myself, but who am I to tell another woman what she can and can't do with her body?" My answer is, "You're a child advocate. Grow some balls and some character while you're at it. Be a voice for a child who doesn't have one yet and quit worrying about some woman's rights that would kill a baby."


  • My dear Jennifer, it is wonderful to hear from you at last. I'm glad things are going okay with the new youngun' (a little Texas lingo). I so thrilled that Miss Lindley is super.

    Those pictures are very sad. I'm a guy who doesn't kill anything so you won't get an argument from me.

    Don't be a stranger, because pulling for you in absentia is a drag.

    By Blogger Merle Sneed, at Tue Jan 22, 05:03:00 PM  

  • She's BACK!!!! I've missed you! I did get your message awhile back that you are thinking of Miss Jess. We are waiting right now to get the results from a recent holter monitor. Hopefully I'll hear by Thurs of Fri.

    Wow, girl, you really are hormonal. LOL! Hey, I admire and respect you for posting so boldly your morals and where you stand as far as abortion goes. I agree, if a woman will go to jail for killing a baby after it is born, then why is it a "woman's right" to kill it before it's born? That whole way of thinking just blows me away. I have worked my patootie off to keep my daughter alive for 19+ years... I love her with all my heart and it ticks me off that other mothers kill their babies before they are even born. There are other options: First of all, Preventing an unwanted pregnancy would be a good start: has anybody heard of abstinence? or at the very least, birth control? Then if you do accidentally get knocked up and don't want to raise a baby, what about adoption... *deep breath*

    OK.... stepping off my soap box now.

    I'm so glad that Lindley is doing so well. I bet your little ones are excited to have a new baby coming into the home! What a special time for your whole family. Say... I wanna see a picture of you - Mrs. "almost faking" Pregnant lady! hehe!


    By Blogger Nancy, at Wed Jan 23, 02:44:00 AM  

  • Preach it sister! I love that you are so passionate about this. It makes me crazy to think it is so easy to disregard a life. Thanks for your honest and heart felt post.

    By Blogger Mary Fran, at Wed Jan 23, 09:37:00 PM  

  • Those are awful pictures..
    and I am very much against abortion.
    It is murder of a human life if you ask me. Don't even get me started on that horrific partial birth abortion ... that so many democrats think is okay to perform.
    But thank God, the President signed into law that it is now illegal.

    By Blogger Terri@SteelMagnolia, at Wed Jan 23, 09:38:00 PM  

  • Glad to have you back! You left so many funny comments this past year --I really missed your humor so much! I am stuck reading your old comments when you were coney and Fred's ghost! take care!

    By Blogger d. chedwick bryant, at Thu Jan 24, 09:29:00 AM  

  • I am sadly shaking my head at you

    By Blogger Deb, at Thu Jan 24, 01:20:00 PM  

  • It's not too late to take accountability for your actions and have remorse, Deb. Your past is your past.

    By Blogger Flawed & Disorderly, at Thu Jan 24, 02:42:00 PM  

  • That was really mean and hurtful. It was also totally uncalled for. Did you want to make me cry, or are you just acting out in a bitchy hormonal rage??

    By Blogger Deb, at Thu Jan 24, 03:48:00 PM  

  • I applaud your comments about Deb's post. How refreshing to FINALLY see someone call her out. It is clear to everyone (except to her regular posters) that she thrives on playing the victim and is truly hateful. It is sad that her little girl will have to grow up around that hate.

    Way to go!!!!

    Too bad she deleted your second post. I'm curious as to what it was. You should post it here in the comments.

    By Anonymous TP, at Thu Jan 24, 08:58:00 PM  

  • TP, it's nice to have a new "face" around here. :)

    For reasons I can only speculate on, a particular person (won't use her name) chose to take a post I wrote about my personal feelings and turn them into a platform for herself...which would have been perfectly fine had she not chosen to be snide and condescending to me because of my beliefs. On her own blog, she can vent as much as she wants about how she feels.

    Instead she chose to start here despite the fact that I said in my post those comments would be unwelcome because I'm not here to be a sounding board for pro-choice views.

    Okay, summary of my comment:

    1. This comment section is full of real victims--those who have lost a child violently to a non-disease related death and about 4 of us who fight to keep children alive and well despite hearts that are failing them.

    This woman wants to talk about how cruel I am, but my point was that cruel is coming over to a site full of real victims and parading your right to snuff your perfectly healthy child. Nothing could be in poorer taste.

    Cruel is making choices but not being decent enough to accept the consequences. The woman being discussed wasn't held at knife point or violently raped for hours on end just to find out she was pregnant. She had sex with a stranger and didn't want to carry his baby since she didn't know who he was. She wasn't a baby herself like she says, she was a college student.

    Cruel is using abortion as a "whoopsie" default and now her child's remains are in a dump somewhere while she flaunts her "rights."

    She still says she has no regrets for any decision she's made because it's made her the person she is today. Most addicts, etc. will tell you they wouldn't change what they had been through, but they still regret it and who they hurt in the process. Not this woman.

    She won't say it was a bad choice. She won't admit she had better options because those options would have meant self-sacrifice, and she cared more about her own comfort than the future of her child. She won't say she took the coward's way out. She doesn't blame herself for anything. She focuses on the drama of how unfair her mother was when she found out she had aborted her baby. She puts out a sob story of how scary it was in attempt to distract people from the heinous act that she committed. I wonder if she ever examines herself in real life, accepts total responsibility for her actions, and apologizes for whatever she's done? Or is she the type who says she's sorry but secretly still blames and holds grudges against the person she wronged?

    If I had an abortion, and it really tore me up inside emotionally, I don't think I'd be so quick to say it was worth it.

    Show me a woman who has been through such an ordeal and can say to another young girl, "My pain is so horrendous as a result of my abortion that I can't look you in the eye and tell you I had no other choice. You have options that are less painful and more positive in the long run than abortion" and I'll show you my compassion for a woman who has aborted a child.

    There was another point I made which I won't mention here because it just puts into question if Deb has told the truth about anything. I have a feeling calling her out on that point was the real reason she deleted my comment because it makes her look like a total lunatic.

    If you want another heart-felt sentiment, check out her argument against adoption. I truly don't think she believes her own b.s. I thought blasting her reasoning would wake her up, but she's determined to be right no matter how stupid her arguments have to get. Her manipulation is a well-oiled machine, but not quite good enough.

    I might feel bad if her emails to me didn't start off as a guilt trip but then twist into a hurl of insults that are totally grasping at straws. If she would shut herself up before she started the insults, she'd be much better at her game of manipulation. What a wonderful world where a person can't even defend their beliefs against killing children without getting verbally assaulted by the ones who kill. Twisted.

    By Blogger Flawed & Disorderly, at Fri Jan 25, 10:53:00 AM  

  • I'm new to your blog, this post touched me on different levels.

    In my religion, abortion is murder, an extreme sin, except in one case: when the mother's life is in danger (having the baby will kill her). Also, in rape cases, the morning after pill is permissable.

    When I was in tenth grade (age 15), I did a class presentation called "Abortion is Murder." I used similar images along with verses from various reference books, religious scripture, and video footage. I talked about alternatives as well as the pain and regret some women face afterwards. (My cousin attempted suicide after an abortion, mercifully she didn't succeed.) My teacher gave me an A for presentation and a C for content because of "limited knowledge and experience on selected topic." She also told me that she hoped I'd become more openminded in my "adult life."

    Anyway, while I share your belief I did find myself cringing at the tone. JUST SAYING. I'm definitely not criticising you, this is YOUR blog - and obviously you are very passionate about this subject and unafraid to share yourself. I'm curious, what are your thoughts on the morning-after pill?

    I hope more people will take your intended message and benefit from it. It will serve its purpose if it saves just one life.


    By Blogger KiKi, at Fri Jan 25, 12:32:00 PM  

  • Oops, I just realized I left in a name in that previous comment. A

    Kiki--thanks for posting a comment. I'm glad you're here. I don't know the details of the assignment, but from what you said, your teacher should have been reprimanded for the grade she gave you. That could have been challenged, but the stress probably wouldn't have been worth it.

    I'd agree with you about tone except I didn't write it to appeal to pro-choicers. Had I been trying to change their minds, my tone would have been really wrong. But I wasn't writing a persuasive piece. I was simply venting on my own blog, primarily to my own friends (though others read it) about something that offends me and enrages me to the very core.
    I don't apologize for being livid about abortion. And I think more people should show their outrage instead of sitting quietly so that the world mistakes their silence for acceptance.

    In regard to my opinion about the morning after pill, I honestly don't know enough about it to take a stand. I'm flat out uneducated about the ethics involved. I'm not even completely sure if it is to prevent a pregnancy or to eliminate one if one has already started. I guess it's probably to end one that has already started since conception is immediate? Otherwise, there would be no point for I still don't know where I stand in giving it to rape victims. But I definitely don't think it should be readily available for women to use as birth control.

    I don't know. Educate me.

    By Blogger Flawed & Disorderly, at Fri Jan 25, 01:01:00 PM  

  • Hi! Sorry for posting here again, but you didn't leave your email so I couldn't reply.

    Ironically, I came via Deb. I clicked a link on someone's blogroll and read thru a few of her entries and came to your blog thru her latest post. When I read her comments I was curious about what prompted it.

    When I read your blog, it touched me because you were passionate and unafraid to stand up for your beliefs. I always admire that because it has taken me a very long time to be able to do that. Plus, you hit a nerve because I too am against abortion (except in the cases I mentioned).

    I don't know much about the workings of the morning after pill, was hoping you had a little more info - but i guess I'll have to look into it a little more.

    BTW, you have beautiful children. Best to you on your pregnancy!! Thanks for responding.

    By Blogger KiKi, at Fri Jan 25, 02:57:00 PM  

  • Dennis doesn't kill anything either. Dennis agrees with Jenny.

    By Blogger dennis, at Fri Jan 25, 06:17:00 PM  

  • your first post back and this is what you post up? dead fetuses?

    By Blogger carmachu, at Sat Jan 26, 04:31:00 PM  

  • Those pictures are just horrifying....absolutely horrifying!

    I am glad that L is doing well!

    By Blogger Queen of the Mayhem, at Sat Jan 26, 07:10:00 PM  

  • Now this is an interesting crossroads, Jennifer.

    I am absolutely, rock-solidly pro-choice.

    (I don't know anything about/haven't read Deb's post - not even sure which Deb we're talking about.)

    Still... I am pro-choice.

    You were very clear that you would not be friends with someone who felt that way.

    Up to now, we've been friends.

    What happens next?


    By Blogger Oh, The Joys, at Thu Feb 21, 08:17:00 PM  

  • I stumbled upon your blog google searching "18 week fetus", the same way you stumbled upon those images. I whole-heartedly agree with everything you said and how you said it, specifically your response to that Deb woman. It's amazing how so many people will say "I am pro-choice ALL THE WAY... who am I to say what a woman does with her own body?", when any thinking person with a SOUL would see that it's murder however you look at it.

    Amazing job on calling the creeps out. I could have never said it that well.

    By Anonymous Morgan, at Fri Jun 20, 06:21:00 PM  

  • I am a male, and I'm against Abortion on all but the most extreme cases.

    Those being.
    The mother would not likely survive birth.
    The baby wouldn't survive, or it's quality of life / life span would be so poor that abortion was the humane thing to do.

    I beleive that the morning after pill stops you getting pregnant because it takes about 48 hours or so for the little guys to make it too the egg. Otherwise it could be could the first 3 weeks pill or something if it terminated the pregnacy.

    I came across your blog while searching for images on 34 week old fetus / babies. Again, a sea of horrible pics.

    Perhaps because I'm not a woman, I don't appreciate what women go through being pregnant but there are options.

    Try watching Juno for one. There are people that can never have kids, I know some. They would give anything to have the baby you don't.


    By Anonymous Gary, at Tue Jul 29, 05:58:00 PM  

  • Hi, you dont know me, but while searching for pictures of what my baby looks like at this stage, I too stumbled across these disturbing pictures as well. I completely agree with everything you say in this post. I wish i could voice my veiws as eloquently as you do, and your respones to the deb lady were amazing. You have a beautiful family.

    By Anonymous Alicia, at Sat Oct 04, 05:33:00 PM  

  • You know by posting these images you've just become one of the lovely group of people who post dead baby picture son the web whilst I myself am trying to find images of 3D ultrasound pictures. I don't even know why a dead baby would come up in that search. either way posting these pictures doens't make you somewhat of a better person and doesn't justify your claims that there is no right reason for an abortion. My mother had one because she would have died. So I'd be careful what you blog about and post pictures of before you can make any justifiable claims.

    By Blogger candy_cayne, at Thu Feb 19, 11:14:00 AM  

  • First, I'd like anyone against abortion to tell me if they have ever had a sick baby with a chromosomal defect, and multiple health issues to step forward. Sounds to me like its easy to make assumptions when its not your life or situation and its not your child who will suffer. I used to wonder why poeple would abort a child, and in most situations I still do. When a child is really sick and with tech today you get a good idea, you really have to think about the child and their quality of i say if you havent been in the shoes, how do you know what they feel like?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Mon Mar 23, 10:47:00 PM  

  • I found this post by the same way you found those pictures - looking for pictures of babies at nine weeks gestation, which I almost am. I don't know how people can justify why abortion should be just fine when not needed to save someone's life. Absolutely don't want a baby? Don't have sex. Use a vibrator or hand. Don't want a baby now, but are willing to raise or adopt one if pregnancy happened? Obviously use the pill or other form of contraception. Don't kill an innocent baby!! ironically people who favor abortion are those most likely to want the death penalty outlawed. I'm pro-life - don't kill babies or criminals who might actually be proven innocent one day. You can't undo murder.

    By Blogger ~* Aria *~, at Sun Apr 26, 02:13:00 AM  

  • My best friend became pregnant shortly after she was married. She was absolutely thrilled when her home pregnancy test came up positive. However, upon visiting a doctor, she discovered that she had a heart condition (which she hadn't known about prior to conceiving) that made carrying the pregnancy to term incredibly risky and potentially fatal, to both her and the child. Her doctor recommend she terminate the pregnancy. Being anti-abortion herself, she had to think long and hard before making a decision but ultimately, she took her doctor's advice. It was the only sensible thing to do and the only safe thing to do. She and her husband have since adopted a beautiful little girl named Joanna (there are so many beautiful children who need loving homes) and they've never been happier. They have even said that they believe it was God intervening, because their little girl really is lovely and they feel it was His way of bringing their beautiful family together. This is the reason I do not agree with making abortion illegal. While I do agree that some women use abortion as a way of avoiding the consequences of their actions, we cannot punish the women who are responsible, but simply unlucky because of these cases. Unwanted pregnancies happen in all kinds of ways, even when women think they are taking the proper precautions. There are also cases where it is discovered that the child will be deformed, disabled, or simply so unhealthy that the prospect of supporting the child, financially and otherwise, is simple not a viable option for the parents. I've heard of cases where doctors recommend that the parents terminate a pregnancy when it is discovered that the fetus is severely deformed, because a) there are usually complications in delivery and b) it is truly the humane thing to do, as the child is extremely likely to die in infancy, and after much physical suffering and parents would be put through that awful emotional trauma of burying a newborn. Of course, these cases are very sad. And what about rape pregnancies? You can't tell me that only "stupid women" get raped! And it is also unfair to ask that a woman carry a pregnancy from rape to term, only to give the child up for adoption. What about the toll it takes on her body? What about the fact that it is emotionally traumatic to give up a child, even if it was conceived in rape? My point is, there are no guarantees that unwanted pregnancy will never happen to good, responsible people who have good cause to terminate and for that reason it must be kept a safe, legal, and affordable option.

    Criminalizing abortion is not the answer. Instead, more social programs to educated young people about abstinence and contraception, and help young women cope with unwanted pregnancies (whether that means helping them find adoption agencies/adoptive parents or programs that would make it easier for women to raise children in tough financial situations, like gov't day care programs or nanny services). Criminalizing abortion will not stop it from happening, or even reduce it much. The women who are irresponsible and stupid in the first place are probably irresponsible and stupid enough to have an illegal abortion performed, so really it would only be punishing the women who "think twice." I lived in France for a time, where they have day care and nursing programs that are free or extremely affordable, and the abortion rate there is incredibly low (much lower than the U.S.). And you know how the French love their free love!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Fri May 08, 04:00:00 AM  

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