Lar lar lar lar

Ha ha!

Gah! Some of you people are getting a little intense judging by the last couple of comments on the last post I wrote. Clearly you need a Flawed & Disorderly "fix," and who am I to keep that from you???

I promise you I haven't been dodging blogging because of that guy I wrote about. After a couple of days of messing with him, I decided he was absolutely right. I picked my self-esteem up out of the recycling bin long enough to convince myself I SHOULD BE MADE A SEX OBJECT! WE ALL SHOULD BE!!! WHY THE HECK NOT!?! Could there have been a man more right in the world? Here I am waddling around my house, bloated, engorged with excess bodily fluids brought on with pregnancy. I'm fat and nasty, and I still have THREE MONTHS LEFT!!! Let him tell people I'm hot! I AM HOT! I've got the freakin' air conditioner blowing full blast because I'm so hot. I'm freezing my entire family out. There's a bun in the oven, and I AM the oven. I am the oven!!!!

I haven't been writing because I have absolutely nothing interesting to say. I'm overwhelmed with the condition of my house. It's a remodeling nightmare. I guess I could have told you all the details of the ongoing remodel, but for some reason I chose to torture my closest friends with every detail of that ordeal.

In a nutshell, we hired a man who slopped paint on every surface that wasn't supposed to be painted. He did a craptastic job. Ironman doesn't want to finish anything. Every weekend lately is being taken up with more pressing matters like family gatherings. I'm running out of steam quickly. My new counter tops haven't been installed, but they're sitting where they will be installed eventually. My new dishwasher hasn't been bolted in place since the counter tops aren't installed, so the whole dishwasher tips out if I don't remember to prop it up while loading dishes. At least I finally have a sink again. And a stove. That helps.

This child I'm carrying is named Faith. Faith likes to boogie the days and night away to the point that my body feels tortured from the inside out. We started painting Faith's room over a month ago. It's still not finished.

These are all the things I would be telling you if I had the desire to log on and take the time to write it out. I have been keeping up with exactly zero blogs, so never think I'm just dissing you. I don't know what's been going on with anybody for the better part of a year. I've fallen off the face of the blog earth.

If you are at all able, please check out this Leslie Hall video. She cracks me up! I first saw her sing on Yo Gabba Gabba--a children's t.v. show. I was so disturbed by the gold spandex outfit that I closed my mind to how humorous it was. Now that I've seen more of her work and read about her, I like her! If only I felt so secure in spandex. If I spent the day with her, I think I would never stop laughing. Her facial expressions are only rivaled by her dancing abilities. I'm impressed with her on many levels. She has a cult following of gem sweater wearers. It's a long story. Enjoy and try not to lose all respect for me. Anyway, I asked her to be my friend on Facebook, and she accepted. I'm still giggling. This was my first ever attempt at contacting a celebrity.



In other news, I woke up one morning to a squirrel that appeared to be playing with the toys in our sand box. I thought it was amusing and took a picture. This has to have been the same squirrel I saw a while back that appeared to be driving a toy car parked outside.
























Later on I saw this. This is not funny or cute. Ignore the sandbox that was rained in because I was too lazy to run out and cover it. I'm trying to show you what's left of our patio furniture. D*mn squirrels!!!

I even caught him taking my chair stuffing up into his squirrel nest. I hate squirrels.

Selfish b*st#%ds!



















So that's really all that's going on with me. Now you can see why I haven't written. I'm full of boring and random information...which totally reminds me of Big Boy and Cat Woman, but I suppose I should share that story on another day. Basically it was just a 15 minute conversation with a woman who answered the phone for a handyman service. She had a lot to tell me about her cat named Big Boy. I won't bother you with the life story I was given, but she was just more evidence that I'm a magnet for weirdness.

Lata!