Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Lar lar lar lar

Ha ha!

Gah! Some of you people are getting a little intense judging by the last couple of comments on the last post I wrote. Clearly you need a Flawed & Disorderly "fix," and who am I to keep that from you???

I promise you I haven't been dodging blogging because of that guy I wrote about. After a couple of days of messing with him, I decided he was absolutely right. I picked my self-esteem up out of the recycling bin long enough to convince myself I SHOULD BE MADE A SEX OBJECT! WE ALL SHOULD BE!!! WHY THE HECK NOT!?! Could there have been a man more right in the world? Here I am waddling around my house, bloated, engorged with excess bodily fluids brought on with pregnancy. I'm fat and nasty, and I still have THREE MONTHS LEFT!!! Let him tell people I'm hot! I AM HOT! I've got the freakin' air conditioner blowing full blast because I'm so hot. I'm freezing my entire family out. There's a bun in the oven, and I AM the oven. I am the oven!!!!

I haven't been writing because I have absolutely nothing interesting to say. I'm overwhelmed with the condition of my house. It's a remodeling nightmare. I guess I could have told you all the details of the ongoing remodel, but for some reason I chose to torture my closest friends with every detail of that ordeal.

In a nutshell, we hired a man who slopped paint on every surface that wasn't supposed to be painted. He did a craptastic job. Ironman doesn't want to finish anything. Every weekend lately is being taken up with more pressing matters like family gatherings. I'm running out of steam quickly. My new counter tops haven't been installed, but they're sitting where they will be installed eventually. My new dishwasher hasn't been bolted in place since the counter tops aren't installed, so the whole dishwasher tips out if I don't remember to prop it up while loading dishes. At least I finally have a sink again. And a stove. That helps.

This child I'm carrying is named Faith. Faith likes to boogie the days and night away to the point that my body feels tortured from the inside out. We started painting Faith's room over a month ago. It's still not finished.

These are all the things I would be telling you if I had the desire to log on and take the time to write it out. I have been keeping up with exactly zero blogs, so never think I'm just dissing you. I don't know what's been going on with anybody for the better part of a year. I've fallen off the face of the blog earth.

If you are at all able, please check out this Leslie Hall video. She cracks me up! I first saw her sing on Yo Gabba Gabba--a children's t.v. show. I was so disturbed by the gold spandex outfit that I closed my mind to how humorous it was. Now that I've seen more of her work and read about her, I like her! If only I felt so secure in spandex. If I spent the day with her, I think I would never stop laughing. Her facial expressions are only rivaled by her dancing abilities. I'm impressed with her on many levels. She has a cult following of gem sweater wearers. It's a long story. Enjoy and try not to lose all respect for me. Anyway, I asked her to be my friend on Facebook, and she accepted. I'm still giggling. This was my first ever attempt at contacting a celebrity.

In other news, I woke up one morning to a squirrel that appeared to be playing with the toys in our sand box. I thought it was amusing and took a picture. This has to have been the same squirrel I saw a while back that appeared to be driving a toy car parked outside.

Later on I saw this. This is not funny or cute. Ignore the sandbox that was rained in because I was too lazy to run out and cover it. I'm trying to show you what's left of our patio furniture. D*mn squirrels!!!

I even caught him taking my chair stuffing up into his squirrel nest. I hate squirrels.

Selfish b*st#%ds!

So that's really all that's going on with me. Now you can see why I haven't written. I'm full of boring and random information...which totally reminds me of Big Boy and Cat Woman, but I suppose I should share that story on another day. Basically it was just a 15 minute conversation with a woman who answered the phone for a handyman service. She had a lot to tell me about her cat named Big Boy. I won't bother you with the life story I was given, but she was just more evidence that I'm a magnet for weirdness.



  • Well Missaroo, you live. How about that?

    Judging from this post you may be spending too much time with the squirrels. Just a thought.

    By Blogger Merle Sneed, at Tue Mar 25, 09:11:00 PM  

  • Ummmmmm. You're photographing squirrels. Had to note that before I watched the video.

    By Blogger headless chicken, at Tue Mar 25, 11:08:00 PM  

  • Hello I just entered before I have to leave to the airport, it's been very nice to meet you, if you want here is the site I told you about where I type some stuff and make good money (I work from home): here it is

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Mar 26, 05:43:00 AM  

  • deer mees flaw-
    jist want u 2 nose that urs s the best blog aver.

    I look forward to going to work every day because I know I get to come home to you.

    You are the most beautiful woman ever- pregnant or not.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Mar 26, 07:35:00 AM  

  • That's right... OWN your hotness! congrats on baby Faith. I'm assuming you know for sure it is a girl? Or is that a fake fetus blogger name? Regardless, CONGRATS!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Mar 26, 09:17:00 AM  

  • Faith....like the name!

    Maybe one day she can exclaim, "Hey! You just don't go grabbing another woman's husband's balls like that!" (Faith Hill said that at a concert where a fan grabbed her husband's privates)

    Something for her to aspire to! :)

    Hope all continues to go well!

    By Blogger Queen of the Mayhem, at Thu Mar 27, 08:56:00 PM  

  • I have a friend named Faith--we all call her Faithie--she has been my friend for decades. She's super smart and super nice.

    By Blogger d. chedwick bryant, at Fri Mar 28, 09:05:00 PM  

  • I love your yard so much.

    By Blogger Squirrel, at Sun Mar 30, 12:25:00 PM  

  • Squirrels suck.

    Can I say that here?

    But they do. Every fall, I plant dozens upon dozens of tulips for Herself. Every spring since we moved here, she's been disappointed. What the voles don't get from underneath during the winter, the bushy-tailed rats get from above.

    Hate 'em, I does, yes I do. Makes me feel like gollum.

    They've even come into my house. Well, one did as I was going out the front door. pisser.

    Maybe I could hire your coney to chase them? How's he at climbing trees? Only have about 3 dozen to get rid of. Tell him that's 3 good meals for 10 days.

    By Anonymous sauerkraut, at Tue Apr 08, 09:46:00 AM  

  • I've never heard of Leslie Hall and now I am going to laugh at the rest of her videos on youtube.

    Sorry about the squirrels. That really sucks!

    By Blogger Liam's Mom - Gina, at Fri May 23, 12:39:00 AM  

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