Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Warning to the Lady Bloggers

I'm so irritated...frustrated...disgusted...freaked out...the list goes on.

Maybe I'm overreacting. I've debated about whether or not I wanted to continue blogging. I'm very grateful that most of my blog from the past couple of years has been deleted.

I don't do much with this blog anymore for a lot of reasons. There are freaky people out there. I've come across so many weirdos here that I'm much more cynical now than when I started. Of course, I've also met a lot of really incredible people as well. I use the term "met" loosely as I haven't actually "met" anyone and it drives Ironman crazy that people online think they're making connections with complete strangers that they'll probably never meet...and that could be full of lies and deceit. In reality, you don't know that I'm who I say I am and vice versa.

It's weird enough to write about your life and realize you're attracting complete strangers that for whatever reason return day after day to see what you'll say next. I've always liked to imagine those regulars on my site meter that never speak up are really just moms that are bored and need to see there's a woman out there struggling as much or more than they are.

I don't check my site meter often, but every now and then I'll get bored and want to know if anyone still comes around. I've followed hits to other blogs that were kind enough to mention me. Great for the ol' ego! And I've noticed some blog is tracking my pregnancy. Freaky weird and a little disturbing, but I try to imagine it's innocent enough. I've gotten some creepy readers along the way that have bugged me a little. But today I think I hit one of the more disturbing blogs.

I think I'm supposed to be flattered. Or degraded. I'm not sure which. I'm not going to give the guy any credit and mention his blog site. All I'll say is it's pictures of female bloggers, their names, and includes an excerpt that is really lewd.

And it's a fairly old blog picture of me, too. It references a post I wrote quite a while ago and has been deleted for about 7 months. Makes me wonder how long this guy has held onto my info. And considering the content of the entire blog is geared for perverts, I've got my face and name up on some site with a link to my blog that USED to have pictures of my children on it. So naturally I took all family pictures off my blog ASAP.

It's not like I thought no pervert could ever find my site. I realize this is totally public. It just gives me the heebies to see my face and name up in correlation with something nasty. I feel like I'm jeopardizing my safety and subjecting my children's pictures to people who could be really sick.

Maybe it's not a big deal. I always thought what a pervert did in the privacy of his own home was his business as long as it wasn't hurting anyone. But this guy is sending all of his creepy readers to me intentionally, and I don't find that to be amusing or flattering. It feels like a violation, but I know he has the freedom to do whatever he wants with what I've put up for all to see and read. It just bugs me. A lot.

Am I making something out of nothing? Put yourself in my shoes. You accidentally stumble across a stranger's blog that has a picture of you on it. Weird! Then you read a nasty thought he has had about you and posted for anyone to see. It's very unexpected and alarming. Trust me, it's creepy. Or not...another lady thanked him for it and said she was flattered. What? He was talking about her like she's a piece of meat he wants to ****. I don't believe for a minute that his profile is remotely true. He's got to be some nasty old unemployed guy who has nothing better to do than surf the net looking for blogger "babes" as he would say.

He wins. I'm bugged. I'd like for him to take down my picture and info, but reflex reaction was to be rude to him when I saw what he had written. I think it may be too late to play nice and ask for a favor. Unless he doesn't want his readers coming over to see this post I've written about him. I don't know. Ugh! YUCK!


  • I don't think you are overreacting at all. You might be flattered if someone calls you pretty. What your talking about is disturbing. Does Ironman know about this yet? Blogger gives you the option to make your blog private so only invited people can see. I think that's what I would do if I were you. Good luck.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Mar 04, 08:42:00 PM  

  • I don't think you're overreacting. It is probably just some creepy loudmouth, but you never know.

    By Blogger Merle Sneed, at Tue Mar 04, 09:24:00 PM  

  • C-R-E-E-P-Y.

    I agree with Julia about the "members only" blog. Maybe that would be good for you - and make you feel "safe" again. I have gone around and around on this subject. I blogged...stopped blogging....blogged..I feel like I'm exposing Super B to potential creeps. But then again, I want to share him with the world.

    It's a touchy subject, indeed.

    By Blogger Super B's Mom, at Tue Mar 04, 09:33:00 PM  

  • Geez, that is really scary.

    By Blogger theotherbear, at Tue Mar 04, 09:41:00 PM  

  • Yeah, I was going to mention that you can make your entire blog private, and only those who you authorize can read it.

    By Blogger Ladybug, at Tue Mar 04, 10:19:00 PM  

  • I figure, so this guy posted our photos and said some lame thing about us. if we ignore him, we don't feed the beast. if we link to him or comment or *anything* at all, we give him exactly what he's looking for. I've edited your comment about this at my site to remove the link to his blog, because I don't want to reinforce his behavior. I want to ignore it, in order to discourage him from doing this stuff. if nobody pays any attention to him, he'll just shrivel up and disappear, because we're not giving him what he wants.

    I hope.

    *crosses fingers*

    p.s. thanks for letting me know - I'd already noticed the traffic from it, but I appreciate the heads-up anyway. :)

    xo Deb

    By Blogger lildb, at Tue Mar 04, 11:31:00 PM  

  • Ewwwwwww!!! I don't think your overreacting either! Maybe Iron Man should send him a little "explaination" letter about what he will do to him if he bothers you. Those muscle men of ours do come in handy!! Stay safe,

    By Blogger Owens Family Adventures, at Wed Mar 05, 08:01:00 AM  

  • ew

    By Blogger Mahala, at Wed Mar 05, 08:30:00 AM  

  • i hope you understand that i'm going to do my best to word this respectfully. honestly? i do think it's an overreaction on your part, but obviously that's your prerogative, because they're your emotions. in my opinion, the guy just has a sense of humor that tends towards the "dirty" side. i've known lots of people who are genuinely amazing men and women - upstanding citizens, good role models, trustworthy friends - who have found the site funny, and i don't consider myself to be a disgusting pervert, but i thought it was funny too.

    i think that you're totally entitled to your opinion, and if it makes you uncomfortable, it's really no one's place to say that you're not allowed to feel that way. but the fact is that when we choose to make our lives public, we run the risks that people can do this kind of stuff OR WORSE. it doesn't bother me, but if it does bother you, then i agree that for your own peace of mind you should consider a private, password-protected blog for your friends and family.

    hope you don't find my comment offensive - just adding my thoughts to the discussion.

    By Blogger Lara, at Wed Mar 05, 11:59:00 PM  

  • general respect for others? yes, i would hope people would have that too. you want my honest opinion? i think the right thing to do would be for him to take your picture down if you've asked him to do so. he has absolutely no obligation, and i would defend the fact that he has that right, but i think it would be respectful of him to take it down. if he were a friend of mine, i would impress that opinion upon him.

    i pick my battles, and frankly, this isn't one that bothers me. if it does you, i honestly think you should take it up and try to do something about it. do i think my battles will change with age? almost certainly, but i'm not convinced this is one that will.

    either way, i think that you should do whatever makes you most comfortable, whether that's going private with your blog, taking an active stance against his site, etc. thanks for your comment and for keeping a respectful discussion. i appreciate that in a sometimes-unfriendly cyberworld.

    By Blogger Lara, at Thu Mar 06, 12:48:00 AM  

  • Yes this would bother me, specifically b/c of the access to pictures of my children. I could handle the random perv joke at my own expense, but leading people here where they could see your real life family, and if there's any way they could figure out who you "really" are, that would make me feel unsafe. I know it's PROBABLY just paranoid, and fueled by random scary shows on TV, but still, I'd probably stop the blog, make it private, or try to figure out some way to get the guy to take my name/face off of his creepy site.

    By Blogger Jill, at Sun Mar 09, 06:54:00 PM  

  • Your not over reacting at all. Better safe then sorry.

    You did the right thing.

    By Blogger carmachu, at Sun Mar 09, 08:30:00 PM  

  • Yeah, that's creepy. Yech.

    But then again, my kid thinks you're pretty hot, so maybe he just has a crush on you. ;-)

    Yeah, never mind. It's still creepy.

    By Blogger Attila The Mom, at Mon Mar 10, 10:07:00 AM  

  • You call your husband "Ironman" and your kids probably have some fake blogger names as well (which it seems as though all suburban house moms give their blogger kids dumb names to "protect their identity")... If you will go so far as to change your husband and childrens names I'm fairly certain I can assume you haven't given out your address or street name! Right? Then how can your safety be in jeopardy??? You are as safe on here as you are walking down the street when a sick-o perv has a dirty thought. You can't control how people think and let's face it... most of the moms who blog are fat, sweaty, house frows... You are one of the exceptions to the rule... so what if some random guy thinks you are do-able. Not like he can do anything about it other than think you are hot..... You are over reacting!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Mon Mar 10, 01:27:00 PM  

  • like i said kick him in the wee wee

    let me know how it works out

    By Blogger IEAT_SNOWMANPOOP, at Wed Mar 12, 12:13:00 PM  

  • I do not think you're overreacting. That would really skeve me out. ug. Maybe make it invite only?

    By Blogger Ann(ie), at Fri Mar 14, 12:42:00 AM  

  • It would bug me...

    By Blogger Terri@SteelMagnolia, at Sun Mar 23, 02:20:00 AM  

  • leave a frickin' blog!!!

    3 weeks. What are you thinking?

    So bored.

    Need humor. HELP!!!

    NOW! NOW!

    Please- m

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Mar 25, 07:39:00 AM  

  • Quit being paranoid and frikken blog already... geeze! What the heck are we paying you for anyway?!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Mar 25, 02:06:00 PM  

  • Jenn-
    It is a fine line. As I get older (gasp) I find myself longing for affirmation...but some of the comments I have received make me HIGHLY uncomfortable! I think you have every right not to be thrilled!

    By Blogger Queen of the Mayhem, at Thu Mar 27, 08:54:00 PM  

  • We live in a broken world. It's so broken that we tend to forget it's broken at all. We get so used to the sins that surround us that we can't see them anymore. We take them for granted, as if they really should be there.

    I can't help but think that "lara" falls into that category. So used to seeing the wrong stuff everywhere, that the right looks... well... wrong.

    In other words, it's wrong for men to objectify women, it's wrong to hide behind humor as a reason, it's wrong to let one's life revolve around sex, and, that said, I don't think you're overreacting at all. I think your only problem is that the world is so broken that all those wrongs aren't seen as wrongs anymore.

    As a side note, I'm sorry to hear your remodel is going poorly. I have a few friends doing that, and it sounds about as fun as rectal surgery... if you'll pardon the off-color metaphor.

    By Blogger Tom, at Sat Mar 29, 04:47:00 PM  

  • It is rather creepy as well as annoying, just like the commenter who won't give you his/her name but goes under "anonymous' (there are more that one anonymous that commented - you know the one(s) I mean)- what a brave soul we have there - maybe somebody would volunteer to kneecap this miscreant or better yet, let's have him become another Beattie ala Oprah's show.
    Why not just delete the 'spam' and keep the good.
    Hope this all ends soon.
    BTW - Congratulations on your upcoming birthing - Faith, what a fitting name.
    P.S. Pregnant women have such a wonderful 'glow' about them - how could they not be beautiful.

    By Blogger MorganLighter, at Sun Apr 06, 01:07:00 PM  

  • I find Lara's comments to be a bit bizarre. I do not find your concerns to be anything like over-reacting at all. Frankly, I hope you post the URL of that blog.

    I'd like to look at it and see for myself. If it's as bad as you write, then let's give him some attention? Negative attention.

    just my humble hairball-fed opinion.


    By Anonymous sauerkraut, at Tue Apr 08, 09:35:00 AM  

  • I just stumbled onto your blog and was getting ready to call it a night when I this post caught my eye. I am fairly new to blogging and pretty much browse only scrapbooking, art, and vintage blogs. I am still at the point where it's exciting to get a comment-I never thought about all the creepy people out there also searching blogs for whatever sick reason....thanks for the post-it made me think!!

    By Blogger Trish, at Wed Sep 10, 11:04:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home