Breastfeeding Nazis Take a Chill Pill

Here's a question for you.

Why do people feel it's appropriate and/or necessary to ask you if you're going to breastfeed?

What business is it of theirs?

I would like to say, "It's none of your business, and while we're discussing things that are none of your business, I'm not telling you what form of birth control I'll be resorting to either."

Any suggestions as to how to handle those types of people? As much as I amuse myself with scenarios involving smart aleck comebacks, I know I won't really use them in real life. I need something non-rude. I welcome your ideas.

I happen to have a decent list of legitimate reasons not to try breastfeeding this time around. They are deeply personal and involve more than just the fact that I've not had success in the past. Breastfeeding Nazis don't understand that unfortunately. They assume you're selfish or not educated as to how important breastfeeding is to your child.

Tonight I've been visiting various websites where women are discussing the issue of not breastfeeding their children. One of the most popular questions is, "How do I deal with the guilt of choosing not to breastfeed my child?" It didn't matter if the woman had given background on her problems with it or not, there would still be BF Nazis popping up everywhere saying, "Why WOULDN'T you want to breastfeed your baby when it's the most natural thing in the world?"

Okay, Nazi...NOT the issue at hand! She's asking how to deal with the guilt...not asking you to lay more guilt on her.

Even the breastfeeding moms who were saying, "Don't feel guilty" had to add, "Not that I use formula because I had no problems breastfeeding." It's like a freakin' brag badge! "MY MILK GLANDS WORK EFFORTLESSLY! IN YOUR FACE!"

It's so insensitive. The women who are the type to feel guilty are usually feeling that because they're good moms who wish their circumstances were different. Don't all good moms wish they had milk fountains that gushed forth an abundance of immune system building, life sustaining, creamy goodness??? I have seriously heard of women who brag about the quality of their milk. What the heck? Pat yourself on the back, lady!

Luckily I am surrounded by supportive family and friends who don't act that way at all. The moms I know who have had success are very humble about it and view it as a blessing because they realize that's not the case for every mom no matter how badly she would like for it to work.

The main people I'm dreading dealing with are the nurses at the hospital and some of my in-laws. I'm already considering asking the nurse to note in my chart BEFORE I have my c-section that I am not breastfeeding, don't want to speak to a lactation consultant, and not to question me about it. As far as in-laws go...I have a step MIL that is all up in my biz anyway about how I raise my children. She felt comfortable in stating her opinion with my third child that I really should try to stick with it because formula is so expensive.

That's ANOTHER thing the BF Nazis kept bringing up on the discussion pages...why formula feed when breastfeeding is free? Can you say...STILL NOT GETTING IT!!!!!??? Like some poor woman is going to suddenly see the light and say, "WHAT? Formula costs money!?! Well, forget that! I'm not spending another DIME on this kid! I'm breastfeeding! Thanks for clearing that up for me!"

But back to my step MIL, I'd like to have some kind way to shut her up. I know (unless she's now reading this blog for some reason) she'll question me in this area. Currently all I've got in the way of dealing with her is a Three Stooges-type double eye poke. My FIL will sit by and quietly judge me and then bring up later that my children's teeth would be better if they had been breastfed instead of bottle fed.

So that's my beef tonight. I need advice about how to deal with these people, and I also don't have the first idea of what a woman goes through who chooses not to breastfeed from day one. I'll be talking with my doc about it, but as of today I'm reading the drugs aren't good that stop milk supply because they can cause such a hormonal shift that you end up dealing with depression. From what I've read, you just have to deal with the pain until it passes. Sound true? Anyone been through it? If you want to share your wisdom with me in a private forum, contact me at blessedmomx3@hotmail.com.

Thanks!