Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Random Ramblings from a Fairly Unstable Pregnant Chick

Nothing interesting to say here.

I wrote a crazy woman rant last night, but I didn't post it. Luckily some common sense came out of somewhere. Instead of posting it for all the world to see, I sent it off to a few unsuspecting girlfriends and burdened them instead. You're welcome.

What you're witnessing right now is a person procrastinating. I have a ton of things I could be doing to prepare for Monday, but I don't want to do any of it. I'd rather write about nothing than do something.

I find myself looking forward to my 5 day, 4 night stay in the local funny-smelling hospital. I realize I'll still be almost 50 pounds overweight and uncomfortable. I will be pestered all night by nurses taking vitals, etc. I'll be in charge of a newborn. I'll be bleeding like a stuck pig. The food will taste like crap. The bed won't be soft and fluffy, yet somehow I'm still viewing it as time off to take it easy. A mini-vacation that begins with being split open.

But I won't have to break up fights over toys. I won't have to time children playing with toys to force them to share. I don't have to think about what to feed them 3 times a day that they'll actually eat. And no cleaning!!!! Woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!! (Of course, all 3 of my children have come in during the writing of this paragraph and made my heart melt with the things that make them so endearing...I will miss them even though they'll visit daily.)

I'm hoping it will be lots of me and Faith time. For some stupid reason I picture her being easy to care for. Then I watch the reality t.v. shows about newborn babies and am reminded of the non-stop crying and not sleeping at night thing. That worries me. I'm soooooooooo tired right now because of not sleeping much at night. I keep thinking that in five more days I'll be able to rest, and what in the world makes me think that's going to be the case at all??? And I think my hormones will finally be back to normal when that's definitely not the case for women who have just had a baby. It could be months before I feel "normal" again.

I can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I do this again? Do I have the stamina? How much harder will it be to have four instead of three? These are all questions I asked myself before pursuing pregnancy. I never figured out who had the answers, so I kind of shoved those thoughts aside. The thought that has always popped into my head is that the work while they're young is so worth it in the long run. I want to be old with a lot of family all around me some day.

Guess what? Apparently 5 days before giving birth to your 4th child in 4 years is when you really wish you had the answers to how much harder it's going to be, etc. The whole "it will be worth the insanity someday" is not nearly so comforting.

Can you tell I'm wigging out a little? I know I can do it. I'm tougher than nails! I can do anything I put my mind to! Yada, yada, yada.

Oh geeze louise...I'm so tired.

11 Comments:

  • Oh my lady! You can do this! I know you can because I did it. Granted my kids aren't as close in age as yours but I was faced with three older ones who know better than to show themselves day in and day out, yet they did it anyway. You might even be surprised at how much help they can be. I'm telling you, let the child pick up the phone and say "mommy can't talk right now. She's breastfeeding!" I know you won't be but your phone will get wonderfully quiet.

    As to the hospital stay, it won't last nearly as long as you will want it (I too was looking forward to my stay when I had Noah, so I know exactly how you feel) and you will worry like crazy that the house will be in shambles when you get back and some loving family member has moved all kinds of things and you will spend eons looking for a pair of nail trimmers or wonder why the contents of baby's dresser has been rearranged.

    Or I could just be lucky to have family like that!

    Take a deep breath, have no fear, you will get through this and look at it this way... At least you aren't amish (the things I could tell youuuuu...)

    By Anonymous Nikki, at Wed Jun 11, 10:49:00 PM  

  • The idea of meeting Faith is exciting you, and it should! She is going to be easier because she has older siblings. It will be cool to see what her personality is like and what she'll grow up to be-- in the meanwhile it all those repetitive tasks, feedings, diaper changes, that you are probably thinking of, but that only lasts a short time. It'll be great. Babies are so wonderful.

    By Blogger phd girl, at Thu Jun 12, 06:33:00 AM  

  • babies are the best! they're precious like kittens and puppies and pretty little baby turtles.

    By Blogger taco fetishist, at Thu Jun 12, 06:08:00 PM  

  • Not to butt into this girl-a-thon or anything, but I can tell you that having adults children with their families is on of life's great rewards.

    By Blogger Merle Sneed, at Thu Jun 12, 07:12:00 PM  

  • Hey there missy! You CAN and WILL do this! My kids were more spread out than yours but I had my last 2 kids inbetween the last of Jessica's 3 heart surgeries (I was 6 months preggers with my 4th baby when Jess had her last surgery and we knew she was terminally ill).... oh, and then I developed toximia. Niiiice. But girl, if I can do that - and trust me, it's not something I would have signed up for- then you can do what you're doing. Was it easy? no. Was it worth it? YES! And it was worth it DURING it.

    My kids are older now but back when they were little and I had 3 in diapers, I would just sit on the floor, line them up and change them all. I would fix their food, put the youngest in the high chair and the other two into their booster seats - the oldest could sit up to the table by himself by then. I had 3 car seats and oxygen. Jess couldn't walk far without getting extremely blue so I would put her in the front of the double stroller, Austin (the baby) in the back, hang the oxygen from the handle - steer it with one hand and grab Brandon by the hand (or put him on the baby leash (that went around his wrist). My oldest could walk but had ADD and I had to constantly redirect his attention to where we were headed. Good Times! hehe I can look back and laugh and I even laughed during it sometimes. What was great was that we knew that Austin was our last baby and we enjoyed every minute of him being a baby.

    I'll be praying for you on Monday and hope that all will go well.

    Who will update us so we know that you are ok? And I'm going to pester you for some pictures! Of course I'll wait until you get home and settled before I bombard your email box with requests for those. hehe

    Love ya sweetie. You'll do this and you'll be GREAT! ((hugs))

    By Blogger Nancy, at Thu Jun 12, 10:42:00 PM  

  • ps,
    will it scare you if I said that I'm still tired .... since having my first baby over 22 years ago? hahaha! or maybe I was just born tired?

    By Blogger Nancy, at Thu Jun 12, 10:45:00 PM  

  • Dennis loves you.

    By Blogger dennis, at Fri Jun 13, 09:02:00 AM  

  • I'm so incredibly jealous that you're having your baby on Monday. Why can't it be me?! WHY? (I too am super hormonal. And whiney.)

    So...from families I know who have 4+ kids, I hear that the 4th child adds a little chaos, but it's not much different from having 3 since the ratio of parents to kids is already off. (And one of those familes has 4 kids under the age of 6 years old.) That may or may not make you feel better.

    I'll be thinking about, and praying for you, on Monday. And feeling very, very jealous.

    By Blogger Becky at "Cheese My Head", at Fri Jun 13, 10:54:00 AM  

  • Becky took the words out of my mouth. I've heard the third child is a major addition, but every child after that is easier.

    I remember being heavily pregnant with Alison and thinking, "I can't wait until she's born so I can get some sleep." Then I laughed at myself for having such a stupid thought. Lo and behold she was born and that night I got 8 hours of sleep. She was in bed with me, so I'm pretty sure that's why she slept so well, but I didn't care because I was tired. I hope Faith is a sleepy baby for you, and I hope your hospital stay is relaxing.

    You can do it! You can do it!

    By Blogger Julia, at Fri Jun 13, 03:56:00 PM  

  • Becky took the words out of my mouth. I've heard the third child is a major addition, but every child after that is easier.

    I remember being heavily pregnant with Alison and thinking, "I can't wait until she's born so I can get some sleep." Then I laughed at myself for having such a stupid thought. Lo and behold she was born and that night I got 8 hours of sleep. She was in bed with me, so I'm pretty sure that's why she slept so well, but I didn't care because I was tired. I hope Faith is a sleepy baby for you, and I hope your hospital stay is relaxing.

    You can do it! You can do it!

    By Blogger Julia, at Fri Jun 13, 03:56:00 PM  

  • So. Long-time-no-see... I know. I slack. It's my thing.

    Anyway. I, myself, found... myself in your very same predicament. So. Yeah. My "little bundle of joy" is now nine months old. Today. *sigh*

    While it's been a long nine months, my daughter is a delight. And I do still manage to find some energy somewhere. And I'm finding that I'm even still capable of taking care of the rest of the kids!!! So, even with the lack of sleep (that, despite the fact that Shelby's been sleeping through the night for several months now, I still can't seem to find!) it all works out just fine!!

    And, it makes it so much easier to laugh at yourself... you know what I mean, that "so tired you laugh at anything even remotely humerous and lots of things that aren't" kind of laughing.... It's great. Really.

    Anyway. Need any stained baby clothes? ;)

    By Blogger MustangChick74, at Tue Jun 17, 04:22:00 PM  

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